Ask Questions That Actually Matter

"How was your day?" is fine, but it's generic. It doesn't show you're actually interested. Better questions show you're paying attention and actually want to understand what's going on with her.

Don't ask generic questions. Ask specific ones. And when she answers, follow up. Show you're actually listening.

Generic: "How was your day?"

Specific: "How did that meeting go that you were worried about?"

Generic: "What's up?"

Specific: "You seemed stressed earlier. What's going on?"

Ask about things she's mentioned:

- "How did that thing you were working on turn out?"

- "Did you talk to your friend about that situation?"

- "How are you feeling about that decision you were making?"

Don't just ask what happened. Ask how she felt about it.

- "How did that make you feel?"

- "What was that like for you?"

- "How are you feeling about that?"

When she answers, follow up. Ask more questions. Show you're actually interested.

Instead of "how was your day?":

- "What was the best part of your day?"

- "What was the hardest part of your day?"

- "What are you looking forward to this week?"

Instead of "what's up?":

- "You seem [stressed/happy/excited]. What's going on?"

- "What's on your mind?"

- "How are you feeling today?"

Instead of generic questions:

- Ask about specific things she's mentioned

- Ask about how she's feeling

- Ask about what she's thinking about

Asking generic questions: Be specific. Show you're paying attention.

Not following up: When she answers, ask more questions.

Not asking about feelings: Ask how she feels, not just what happened.

Asking to be polite: Actually be interested. Actually listen.

You asked a question that actually mattered. She felt heard and understood. You connected. That's a win.