Be Proactive Around the House

Notice what needs to be done and do it. Don't wait to be told. Don't wait for her to do it. Just notice and do it.

Why This Matters

When you're proactive, you're taking initiative. You're showing you're paying attention and you're a partner, not just a passenger. This prevents small tasks from becoming sources of resentment.

The Secret: Notice, Don't Wait

Don't wait for her to tell you what needs doing. Look around. Notice. Do it.

How to Be Proactive

1. Look Around

Regularly scan your environment:

- What's out of place?

- What needs cleaning?

- What needs fixing?

- What needs doing?

2. Notice Patterns

Pay attention to:

- What she does regularly

- What stresses her out

- What she complains about

- What she handles that you could handle

3. Do It Without Being Asked

If you see something that needs doing, do it. Don't announce it. Don't wait for permission. Just do it.

4. Make It a Habit

This isn't a one-time thing. Make noticing and doing a regular habit.

Examples of Being Proactive

Empty the dishwasher when it's clean
Take out trash when it's full
Clean up messes you see
Handle something before it becomes a problem
Do something that prevents her from having to do it
Notice what needs restocking and restock it

What Makes It "Proactive"

You notice it: You're paying attention.

You do it without being asked: You take initiative.

You do it before it's a problem: You prevent issues.

You do it consistently: It's a habit, not a one-time thing.

Common Mistakes

Waiting to be told: That's reactive, not proactive.

Only doing obvious things: Notice the less obvious things too.

Doing it once: Make it a habit.

Making her manage you: Don't ask what to do—figure it out.

The Win

You were proactive. You noticed what needed doing and did it. She didn't have to think about it or ask. That's a win.