Help When You're Hosting the Party

Hosting is stressful. There's cleaning, cooking, setup, and then managing everything during the party. If you disappear or "help" by asking "what do you need?" every five minutes, you're making it worse. Actually help. Know what to do without being asked.

Don't wait for her to tell you what to do. Look around. What needs to be done? Do it. If you're not sure, think about what you'd want help with if you were hosting.

1. Before the Party: Clean Without Being Asked

The house needs to be clean. Don't wait for her to ask. Just do it: vacuum, clean the bathrooms, wipe down surfaces, take out trash, clear clutter. Do this the day before, not the day of. Last-minute cleaning adds stress.

2. Handle Setup

Set up extra seating if needed, clear space for coats/bags, set out extra toilet paper and hand towels, check that everything works.

3. Prep Food/Drinks

If you're cooking, help. If she's cooking, handle drinks, appetizers, or whatever she assigns you. Don't wait for instructions—ask what you can take off her plate.

4. During the Party: Greet Guests

When people arrive, actually greet them. Take coats. Offer drinks. Make them feel welcome. Don't disappear into another room.

5. Keep Things Stocked

Refill drinks, restock appetizers, empty trash if it's getting full, check bathrooms. If you see something that needs doing, do it. Don't announce it. Just do it.

6. Engage, But Stay Aware

Talk to guests, but keep an eye on her. Is she stressed? Does she need something? Can you take something off her plate? Watch for signals: Is she in the kitchen alone? Does she look overwhelmed? Is she doing cleanup while guests are still there?

7. After the Party: Help Clean Up

Don't wait until the next day. Help clean up that night: load the dishwasher, put away food, take out trash, wipe down surfaces. Don't go to bed until cleanup is done. She shouldn't wake up to a disaster zone.

Asking "what do you need?" constantly: Look around. Figure it out.

Disappearing: Don't vanish when guests arrive. Actually help.

Half-helping: Don't start something and leave it for her to finish.

Complaining: Don't complain about helping. Just help.

Waiting for instructions: Anticipate. Don't wait to be told.

You actually helped. The party went smoothly. She didn't have to stress about everything. She felt supported. That's a win.