Resolve a Disagreement (Without Winning)

Learn how to work through disagreements using "I" statements and active listening. Focus on understanding, not being right.

Why This Matters

Resolving disagreements without trying to "win" creates understanding and connection. When you focus on understanding instead of being right, you can actually work through issues together.

The Secret: It's About Understanding, Not Winning

This isn't about proving you're right. It's about understanding each other and finding solutions together.

How to Resolve a Disagreement

1. Use "I" Statements

Express yourself using "I" statements:

- "I feel [emotion] when [situation]"

- "I need [what you need]"

- "I'm concerned about [concern]"

2. Listen Actively

Actually listen. Don't just wait for your turn to talk. Hear what she's saying. Show you understand.

3. Focus on Understanding

Try to understand:

- How does she feel?

- What does she need?

- What's her perspective?

- What's important to her?

4. Find Common Ground

Look for:

- What do you both want?

- What are shared goals?

- How can you work together?

5. Focus on Solutions

End with:

- How can we both get what we need?

- What can we do differently?

- How can we solve this together?

What Makes It Work

You use "I" statements: Express yourself without blame.

You listen actively: Actually hear what she's saying.

You focus on understanding: Not being right, but understanding.

You find common ground: Look for shared goals.

You focus on solutions: End with how to solve it together.

Common Mistakes

Trying to win: It's about understanding, not being right.

Not listening: Actually hear what she's saying.

Getting defensive: Listen, don't defend.

Focusing on blame: Focus on solutions, not blame.

The Win

You resolved a disagreement. You focused on understanding, not winning. You found solutions together. You worked through it as a team. That's a win.