Have a "State of the Union" Conversation

Learn how to have regular relationship check-ins. Discuss what's working, what isn't, and how you can both improve together.

Why This Matters

Regular relationship check-ins help you stay connected and address issues before they become big problems. You discuss what's working, what isn't, and how you can both improve together.

The Secret: Make It Regular

This isn't about having one big conversation. It's about regular check-ins that keep you connected and help you address issues early.

How to Have a State of the Union Conversation

1. Pick a Regular Time

Choose when you'll do it:

- Weekly

- Bi-weekly

- Monthly

- Whatever works for you both

2. Create a Safe Space

Make sure:

- You're both comfortable

- You won't be interrupted

- You have enough time

- You can both be present

3. Discuss What's Working

Start with what's good:

- What's going well?

- What do you appreciate?

- What are you grateful for?

4. Discuss What Isn't Working

Then talk about challenges:

- What's not working?

- What needs improvement?

- What are concerns?

5. Discuss How to Improve

End with solutions:

- How can we both improve?

- What can we do differently?

- How can we support each other?

What Makes It Work

It's regular: Same time, consistent schedule.

It's safe: You both feel comfortable sharing.

It's balanced: You discuss what's working and what isn't.

It's solution-focused: You end with how to improve.

Common Mistakes

Only focusing on problems: Start with what's working.

Making it one-sided: Both of you share, both of you listen.

Not making it regular: Consistency is key.

Getting defensive: Listen, don't defend.

The Win

You had a state of the union conversation. You discussed what's working and what isn't. You talked about how to improve. You stayed connected and addressed issues early. That's a win.